Life Since Motherhood: What's Changed and What Hasn't

Happy Mother's Day to all those mamas out there! Are you doing anything special with your family? We had dinner at my mom's last night and today we are having brunch with my dad then heading out to our local garden center to get some plants and flowers so I can play in the dirt!

Teacup Human was born a little over a year and a half ago, sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes a lifetime ago. She is the absolute love of my life and I thank God every day that I get to be her mama.

Over the course of my pregnancy and new motherhood, I knew things were going to change but I also knew somethings were going to stay the same and get even better.

What's Changed

I don't give a fuck. After college, I wasn't much of a person who cared about strangers opinions - it was a long process to get there, but I got there. After Teacup was born, I stopped worrying about other peoples' opinions all together. My main concern is my baby and what she needed. Now granted, I give more weight to what my husband and family think, but that stranger in the grocery store? Fuck 'em.

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My tolerance for idiots. I've never had a high tolerance for morons, but when I'm functioning on little sleep and just want to be home so I can cuddle with my baby, that tolerance is almost gone. Nonexistent. There is murder in my eyes and I will let you know my feelings. I especially don't have tolerance for public places that don't have changing tables but do have highchairs. I don't care if it doesn't fit your esthetic. You know what's going to ruin your esthetic? Me changing my child's poopy diaper in the middle of the dining room. 

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Bodily functions don't gross me out. When Teacup was a week old, we took her newborn pictures. During this photo session, I got peeped and pooped on simultaneously. It was a nice "Welcome to Motherhood!" Since then, I've had my fair share of changing blowouts (it really can go all the way up their back), randomly getting poop on my hands, catching vomit, and being handed chewed food was deemed unacceptable. Plus, babies really do have the cutest farts.

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I am ten times more organized. I was always an organized person. In high school, I loved using my planner for writing down assignments, due dates, and the like. This trait followed me to college and beyond. For 2017 I had a regular paper planner which worked fine, but was lacking. For 2018 I upgraded to the Plum Paper ME planner and absolutely love it! I'll do a separate post on it later, but just know it's kind of the best thing and I would be lost without it.

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I'm more emotional than ever. I was always an easy crier, but now I cry at almost everything that brings upon strong emotion. Remember that Amazon commercial where the dad buys his dog a lion mane so his baby won't be afraid of him? Instant tears.

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What Hasn't Changed

I get to spend plenty of one-on-one time with my husband. It's not as much as before Teacup was born, but we still carve out time for just us. Whether that's watching TV after she's gone to bed, hanging out on the couch reading while she naps, or having a date night we ensure we keep our relationship strong. It's harder, yes, but it also allows us to enjoy our time together all the more.

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I am able to carve out time for me. Recently I've started doing Yoga with Adriene and I'm obsessed. It's definitely helped me be more claim and keep my racing thoughts at bay. It's helped me fall asleep quicker, and stay asleep, as well as be more present each day. I'm not toting this as "the cure for all your woes" this is just what has worked for me.

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Baby giggles are the best thing - and make it hard to discipline. If you tell me you don't at least smile when a baby giggles I'm going to call you a liar. It is one of my favorite things when Teacup giggles. The drawback is that when she does something bad and giggles when I scold her, I have to look away. I can't help but smile, which defeats the whole purpose, because "if Mommy is smiling and laughing I'm not doing something wrong." Joe is definitely better with disciple because he can keep a straight face.

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I care about my appearance. I'm not vain about it, but I also don't (purposefully) leave the house with unbrushed hair and dirty clothes. I've perfected the five-minute beauty routine - eyebrows, eyeliner if I'm feeling ambitious and have time, mascara, and lipstick. When I look good, I feel good.

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I drink alcohol. I'm not a lush about it, but after a long day and a cranky toddler a nice class of red wine goes a long way

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I have time for my friends. We're all quite busy and at this point are either married, having babies, or have had (multiple) babies, so I'll admit it's tricky to find time. But the nice thing is with today's technology, we're always within reach. We may have to schedule a night out months in advance, but it's always worth the wait!

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Happy Cesarean Awareness Month!

Cesarean sections represent 32% of all deliveries in the United States. This means one out of three woman become a mother via c-section. A little less than two years ago, I became one such Mama.

My C-Section Experience

The basis for my birth plan was to get her out safely, healthy, and an epidural. I informed my family that if they didn't put the baby in there and they weren't helping get her out, they were more than welcome to hang out in the waiting room during delivery. Fair game during labor.

My due date came and went. And went. And went. My doctor scheduled an induction for nine days after I was due and I did everything I was able in hopes of going in to labor - bouncing on an exercise ball, going for walks, spicy food, pineapple, you name it I tried it.

When I went in for my induction, I wasn't any closer to going into labor than I was when the induction was scheduled. Zeros across the board. My daughter didn't want to come out and she was staying put. Mama was 41.5 weeks pregnant and more than ready.

Long story short, I was induced, spent an extremely uncomfortable night hooked up to machines, I got my epidural, my water was broken, things progressed beautifully, and we were told she'd be born later that day! So I took a nap.

My doctor woke me up from my nap to check on Teacup Human and that's when her heart rate dropped. I don't remember much, but I remember not being able to breath, being given an oxygen mask, and my doctor saying "We need to get prepped for a c-section now."

I remember being terrified and asking my mother-in-law where my husband was and for her to call my mom as they wheeled me out of my room. They got me in the OR and informed me I would need to be completely put under anesthetist. I prayed harder than I have ever prayed, took a moment to wish Joe was there, they put the mask over my mouth and I was out.

I woke up two hours later in my hospital bed, shaking and vomiting. Joe was by my side and the first words out of my mouth were "Is she okay?" When he told me she was perfect and healthy I demanded to know where she was and where he had been.

She was in the nursery and he had been at Starbucks. Before you come at him with pitchforks and fire - the doctor had told us we still had hours to go and I was napping. Starbucks was less than three minutes from the hospital and they had just pulled into the parking lot when his mom got a hold of him. He and his father raced back to the hospital and he was running up to OR doors just as they were closing. The nurse wouldn't let him into the room and wasn't able to tell him much, just that she had to go and would update him soon. Given how scared I was, I could only imagine how terrified he and our families must have been.

After convincing Joe and the nurse I was fine, they wheeled in my daughter and placed in her into my arms. I immediately starting crying and thanking God that we were both okay. 

 

What I Learned

It was fast. They had Teacup Human out in less than a minute. I don't know how fast they move if it's not an emergency and a planned c-section, but they were not playing.

Cesarean sections are a legit surgery. When I went home, they told me to clean my incision carefully, not to go upstairs or downstairs (with the exception of in the morning and at night for bed), not to lift anything heavier than my daughter, no driving for two weeks, and to keep an eye out if for puss and oozing aka infection. Also, here are some serious meds to help with the pain. I spent days on our cough only getting up to pee. Even when I went in for my six week checkup I wasn't completely healed.

Comfy clothes are the best clothes. I lived in sweats for weeks - though to be fair because of who I am as a person this might have been the case either way. I rolled my pants so they sat just under my incision and worse baggy shirt to ensure minimal rub because . . .

It hurts. Okay, this is more of a given and not necessary something I "learned," but it was p-a-i-n-f-u-l. It was painful to move, painful to get up, painful to sit down, painful to laugh, cough, sneeze. No matter what I did, I found a way to irradiate to the incision.

You can guilt your family in to doing {almost} anything for you. Granted, my family would have helped me with anything I needed but I feel like my c-section got me special-special treatment. "Sorry, honey. The doctor said I'm couch bound. I guess you have to let the dog in after he's been running in mud / change this exceptionally poopy diaper / get me another snack - yes, I'm still hungry. I'm breastfeeding and need extra calories!"

I would do it all again in a heartbeat. My daughter is my life. And if I had to go through all that terror, pain, anxiety, and worry again to ensure she was safe and healthy? I would do it a million times over.

1,000 Books Before Kindergarten

Last week, a friend of mine tweeted about setting up a Goodreads account for her one year old son for the 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten program, which she first heard about when Daliyah Marie Arana was “Librarian For the Day” at the Library of Congress back in January. Being an avid reader myself and hoping to instill the love of reading in to Teacup Human, I knew this was something we had to partake in too!

 

We've already read a few books here and there to her, but the thought to track them never occurred to me and I cannot wait to start adding these books to her own Goodreads page. A page I hope she'll continue on her own once she gets old enough. Not to mention, how cool will it be when she's older and looks back on all the books her father and I read to her when she was younger!?

On their official website, there is the option to Find a Program in your state and I was pleased to find my local library is a participant! This also led me to find out about their Baby and Me Storytimes, another opportunity to get Teacup Human into the library and developing a love of books!

If you have a child, grandchild, niece/nephew, etc. and so on, I highly suggest you check out this program! Or, if you are already participating in the program, share with us your favorite aspects and how you're doing thus far!

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Babies Are Hard Work

Well that's an obvious fact, isn't it?

I mean, who knew that a newborn would need constant attention and would be a drain on any energy you managed to syphon out of the universe? Okay, I knew that. But I didn't know-know that. You know going into parenting that it's going to be hard, but you don't know how hard it's actually going to be. Nobody can really prepare you for that.

And nobody can really prepare you for the amount of love and joy this teacup human is going to bring you either.  Sure, people tell you and you nod and smile because you know they're right, but until you actually see and hold your child, you don't know.

I'll tell you right now the reason for my almost radio silence is because being a mother is hard, time consuming work. (Another duh statement.) And maternity leave is not what I expected.

No, I didn't expect to sleep in all the day, lounge about while watching TV, read all the books, or take numerous naps because newborns "sleep all day." But I didn't expect to get zero reading done, watch nothing but HGTV and bad TV (I've not only "remodeled" my house 10 times, but I have sunk to a new low of trash TV that even I never thought possible), and have my sleep schedule completely fucked over in the way that some days I wake up at 8am still tired and some days I'm wide awake at 5am. Also, what's a hairbush?

Motherhood is one of those things where you know what to expect, but you don't know what to expect.

I've let a lot of my hobbies go to the wayside, especially in those first few weeks. I'm just now getting back to taking care of me. I know all the doctors and experts say that you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others, but keeping a teacup human alive is hard work! And when said teacup human doesn't need you for those few brief moments, the last thing you want to be doing is giving yourself an at home facial or manicure. You just want to sit and watch mindless TV.

In those early weeks, it was hard for me to just get away and take a shower. My husband is one of the good ones and does everything he can to help me keep my sanity. He loves our daughter and loves being a daddy. But before we found a bottle she liked, which was a task in and of itself, my "me time" only extended for so long. Joe does it all, but he can't breastfeed. Thankfully, we found a bottle/nipple she likes and I now have the ability for long hot showers and running to Target by myself. Who knew wandering around Target with a hot drink from Starbucks would feel like a vacation?! #momlife

I've had my highest-highs and lowest-lows as a new mom. It's hard. It's stressful. It's beyond rewarding and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Because when Teacup Human looks at me and smiles or has fallen asleep in my arms, I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be her mom.

 

A Babymoon in Chicago

As I mentioned in my "I'm Back" post, I'm currently pregnant with our first child! Now that I'm not constantly affected with nausea and wanting to throw up and the mere mention of food, my husband and I decided we wanted a quick getaway.

Originally, we had planned to take a London/Paris vacation this summer, but once we realized I was pregnant, the idea of a 14-some hour flight and walking around London and Paris for a few days (not to mention the price tag), just didn't seem like the best idea. Plus, I wouldn't get to eat all the food and drink all the wine I wanted. Luckily, the only thing lost was the hours I had spent planning said trip.

Once we made the decision to no longer travel to Europe this summer, our planning stalled. We knew we wanted to go somewhere, but where? Joe was thinking a cabin somewhere - but they he made me watch Hush on Netflix. I don't think he thought that through. Let's plan a weekend in a cabin right after watching a movie about a masked killer who shows up at a cabin in the woods and starts murdering people. No. Pass.

Two weekends ago we decided on Chicago. Neither us has had been there and it wasn't an awful drive from our house to the city. That Monday, after firmly deciding on Chicago, we looked at the calendar and realized between now and "too late," the only weekend we could go was that weekend.

After ensuring the stars aligned (Joe's parents could watch Bentley, getting time off work, hotel at a reasonable price, etc.) we booked our trip! Luckily, we knew a few people who used to live in Chicago and got a few tips on where to stay and what to do.

We dropped Bentley off Friday afternoon at Joe's parents and after feeling like an awful person as he watched us pull away from the window, we set off  for our long weekend getaway!

Babymoon Pros

• It's the "last time" you and your significant other will get to vacation on your own. Don't get me wrong, we are thrilled to become parents, but aren't delusional to all that comes with it. Chicago is filled with vacationing families and we weren't spared the sight of tantrums and maneuvering strollers through the crowded streets.
• When you get tired and cranky due to walking around in the high 80-degree heat, your husband doesn't mind heading back to the hotel so you can shower and nap. Any other point in my life this would have granted me an eye roll. Of course, any other point in my life this wouldn't have been a big deal.
• If you go to a place (like Chicago) with great shopping you can buy your little one a few

  

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  goodies. Our hotel was right on the Magnificent Mile so as well as wandering and doing some shopping, we stopped at the Disney Store and may or may not have bought an outfit for our daughter's one year birthday. Look, I love Disney and I couldn't pass it up! They had the cutest baby section and I could have easily bought one of every outfit they had for sale. Note: When grabbing this picture from DisneyStore.com, I saw that they have matching shoes! Why didn't I see those in the store?!
• Going to the crowded jazz club on Saturday night ensures you get a seat at the bar. A good friend of ours told us we had to go to Green Mill Cocktail Lounge, a former speakeasy that Al Capone owned. By the time we got the lounge it was packed, but while waiting for our drinks (mine was a water, calm yourselves), a man seated at the bar offered me his seat so I didn't have to stand.
• If you time it right, while on your Babymoon, you can also celebrate your seventh anniversary. I didn't realize this until making dinner reservations for Saturday night, but it happened to be the same day as our (dating) anniversary, so that made the day and trip a bit more special.

Babymoon Cons

• Depending on when you go during your pregnancy, you easily get tired. I'm in the middle of my second trimester, so I'm feeling pretty good. Not first trimester nausea and extreme tiredness, not third trimester exhaustion and "get this thing out of me." However, walking around Chicago in the heat makes one tired and cranky. We didn't get to do all we had wanted to do due to the heat and my pregnancy, but that just means we have to go back one day.  :)
• If you're a wine/beer/alcohol drinker, you can't indulge in a drink with dinner or after walking around in the heat. I'm not a huge drinker, but when we go out to dinner I like to have a glass of wine. Can't do that while pregnant, so I just stared wistfully at Joe's beers while drinking my water.
• Same goes for food. We went to Tanta for dinner one night and they have some intriguing things on the menu, but I couldn't partake in all of it because some food is off-limits. Same goes for the sushi at Shaw's.  :(

Overall

While you may not get to do everything you want, it's still a special vacation that you share with your significant other before becoming a family of three (or four if you count your furbaby). We had an amazing time in Chicago and I'm so glad that we got to go.

Have you ever gone on a Babymoon, where did you go, what did you do? Or is that something you'd want to do when the time comes?

Baby Product: Keima Large Diaper Tote Bag Set

About Keima Large Diaper Bag Set:

100% Waterproof Nylon, easy to wipe clean. Big Bag Size: L16.54'' * W7'' * H26''. Small Bag Size: L16.54'' * W7'' * H26''. 

 

My Thoughts

This is a great diaper bag set! Until recently, I've been using an over-expensive organic cotton diaper bag that I also received for review - it was nice looking, but not functional at all! Upon getting this set, I've switched to using it and never looked back.

With the Keima set you get:

• 1 LARGE diaper bag (16.54'' x 7'' x 26') with three zipped compartments (the main one, one on the side inside and one on the front outside), as well as two bottle/baby powder compartments on both sides (they don't have zippers, but the stretch bands hold whatever you put inside them firmly in place).
• 1 MEDIUM size diaper bag (I'd call it small, but it's actually a decent size - 16.54'' x 7'' x 26) - the layout and features are the same as with the large bag, so three compartments are zipped and two bottle compartments on both sides.
• 1 Bottle sleeve with a zipper that will fit most baby bottles. It's large enough to fit my toddler's sippy cup!
• 1 Small food container for snacks, etc.
• 1 Changing pad in newborn size.

I find this set to be very well designed, vibrant, stylish and extremely functional. The large bag is really quite large, so you should be able to fit in it absolutely everything you need to. This is the one I bring with us on our weekend visits to grandparent's place. I can easily load it with 10-15 diapers, 3 changes of clothes, snacks, my daughter's favorite plush toy, baby powder, baby wipes - you name it, it all fits in there.

When we take a short day-trip somewhere, I usually go with the smaller one. It's perfectly functional and reasonably spacious.

I love that the bags are lined with waterproof material on the inside, so even if your child's bottle leaks, the liquid won't soak through. They're made with 100% waterproof nylon, so they're mess-proof and easy to clean. They come with two types of straps - two short ones on the sides of the zipper, and one long one for carrying on your shoulder. The side rings are big enough to be clipped onto the stroller, if you happen to own a set of stroller hooks.

Overall, I really love this set. It's so pretty and colorful. The bags are spacious and functional. There's really nothing to complain about here. I highly recommend this set - it would make a great gift for expecting moms, too!

Disclaimer: I received a FREE sample of the product in exchange for my honest review.

Baby Product Review: Designer Baby Teething Necklace for Mom by Toddle Turtle

About the Toddle Turtle Teething Necklace:

• ASSEMBLED and INSPECTED in the USA using ORGANIC, 100% FOOD GRADE SILICONE beads; FDA-approved; non-toxic. No- BPA, PVC, phthalate, latex, lead, cadmium, or heavy metals
• FULLY ADJUSTABLE LENGTH THAT GROWS WITH YOUR BABY! WE HAVE A LONGER DROP LENGTH cord then ALL of our competitors (16 " + falls below the breast line) which keeps your baby teether close at hand AND within easy reach for even the littlest babies while nursing, being held, or snuggling close to mom. If you prefer a shorter length or as your baby grows, you can simply clip the necklace to the desired length and replace the clasps.
• NATURAL pain relief for your infant without using gels, tablets or medicine - soft pressure on babies gums helps to soothe discomfort that comes from cutting teeth - smart moms can look pretty in their teething bling while soothing a fussy baby.
• MAKES A GREAT GIFT - each necklace is assembled and packaged by hand with love. When it arrives it will be wrapped in an adorable hand stamped, eco friendly, reusable drawstring bag. Have fun opening it yourself or gifting it to another special mom.
• PEACE OF MIND - necklace is dishwasher safe and a good alternative to freezer teething rings, baltic amber beads, pacifiers, sophie giraffe teether or chew keys. Quick-release safety clasp protects your child from choking or pulling too hard on your neck. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!

  

My Thoughts

Finally, a teething accessory that I'm not ashamed to wear! :)

I love everything about this necklace - from the cool geometric hexagon shape of the beads to the hip color scheme it comes in. The kid loves it, too. She's past most of her teething - only missing a couple of her back teeth at this point (18 months old), but I've read somewhere that when the last couple teeth are breaking through, the whole jaw feels tingly and itchy for your child, so she is now back to trying to chew on her toys and bottle nipples. This necklace couldn't arrive at a better time. She immediately took to playing with it and chewing on it. Considering she has most of her teeth out and she's been chewing on the beads for over 2 h now, I'd say these beads are pretty durable - no teeth-marks so far!

The necklace has a very generous length, but if for whatever reason you feel it's too long, you can easily adjust the length by opening the clasp, shortening the strings and closing the clasp again.

The silicone beads are soft enough for your child to gently massage their gums with it, to provide relief from teething pain and itchiness. The shape makes it easy for your child to hold the beads in their clumsy little hands. Each bead is about the size of a grape, so it's easy for your child to put it in their mouth.

All in all, this is a fantastic teething necklace. Well-made, fashionable and packaged with care and thought - an all around great experience for both the baby and the mom.

Disclaimer: I received a free sample of the product for review consideration. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Baby Toy Review: Xylo-Fun Xylophone from Malbec

About Xylo-Fun Xylophone:

• THE 'XYLO-FUN' OFFERS FUN LEARNING FOR CHILDREN AND THE WHOLE FAMILY: Help build essential skills by learning the fun way... Making Music! Develop and enhance key motor skills such as hand eye coordination, social skills and memory building 

• FANTASTIC UNIQUE DESIGN: The 'Xylo-Fun' has been specially created with metal notes than when struck produce a beautiful tone. The bright and colourful notes have also been designed with safety and will can not be easily removed 

• INTRODUCE YOUR CHILD TO A WORLD OF CREATIVITY AT THEIR FINGER TIPS: The 'Xylo-Fun' is a great way to tap into the creative mind and explore sound, rhythm and rhyme. This is a perfect way to introduce children to music through play 

• SPECIALLY DESIGNED BOX & FREE SONGBOOK FOR INTERACTIVE LEARNING: The 'Xylo-Fun' comes packaged in a specially designed box so is the perfect gift or present. The songbook contains classic nursery rhythms that are colour coded with the notes for easy learning. Even the adults will have fun learning these classic songs! 

• PLAY SPECIALIST LOVES THE 'XYLO-FUN': Phil Doyle says 'This toy is something that every child should have in their toy box. The fundamental skills it teaches children are just fantastic!' We completely agree with Phil Doyle so will offer a full refund if our product does not meet your needs

        

My Thoughts

This is a really cool toy for your little one!

My daughter's eyes lit up when she first saw the xylophone. It's colorful and very well-made. The base is made of sturdy and durable wood. There are seven metal notes (A-G), each one is different color. They're all vivid and bright, and they produce clear and pleasant tones.

The toy comes with a little booklet filled with simple tunes for your child to play. This is a a great touch and I think when my daughter is older, she'll have fun learning how to play the songs. At this point (she's only 18 months old), she can only struck the notes randomly, but I have noticed a big improvement between now and when she first started to play with it. The more she plays, the better her eye to hand coordination gets. She already figured out that running the wooden mallet across the notes will produce a beautiful sound. Plus, she looks extremely pleased with herself when she manages to struck the keys just right and make a louder sound.

This xylophone is both fun and educational. It's perfectly safe to play with and captures my daughter's attention for hours. It's so much better for her than watching TV or playing a piano app on my iPad, I am thrilled she loves it so much!

Disclaimer: I received a FREE sample of the product in exchange for my honest opinion. All thoughts are my own.