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Sunday, October 6, 2013

"The Little Bo Peep Conundrum" - Guest Post by Oleander Plume

Today I have a fantastic, fun and extremely entertaining guest post to share with you guys! Oleander Plume - the author of said awesome guest post - writes erotica and she's insanely good at it! She's also sweet and hilarious and her guest post will make you laugh out loud and reconsider your Halloween costume choices! :) 
Enjoy and be sure to leave us a comment to let us know who you'll be dressing up as this Halloween!

The Little Bo Peep Conundrum
by Oleander Plume

     It was the most anticipated party of the year, my coworker Brian's annual Halloween bash. He talked about it incessantly for the entire month of October, whipping us all into a frenzy as we pondered our costumes. Especially the females.

     What is it about Halloween that makes us girls so giddy? Is it the magic of dressing up? Is it the thrill of putting on a mask and taking on an entire different persona? Nah. We love Halloween because it's the one night of the year that even the most demure woman can dress up like a complete tart and get away with it.

     I was no exception. While browsing through the local costume shop, I had the ridiculous idea of dressing up like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. She was very popular at the time, with her snarky sense of humor, and amazing rack. Sure, I needed an industrial strength push up bra to pull off the look, and it took a lot of squishing and stuffing to get my chest to look just right, but I felt sexy, so it was worth it.

     The night of the party finally came, and I spent at least three hours getting ready. My friend Sharon came to pick me up and we both squealed over each others appearance. She was a very sexy she-devil, with a shocking red mini dress and six inch stilettos. We made quite an entrance when we arrived, and everything was going great. Until SHE walked in.

     A hush fell over the room. You could almost feel the testosterone rise to nuclear meltdown levels as each man turned to stare.

      "Are you effing kidding me?" Sharon muttered under her breath.

     Standing there was, well, Bo Peep. But not a tawdry, ho-bag version of Bo Peep. No, this chick was legit. A lacy bonnet floated above blonde sausage curls. Her light blue dress puffed out around her like a cloud, covering her from her neck to her knees. Peeking out from the hem were a pair of bloomers. Bloomers! White tights, black buckle shoes, shepard's hook gripped in one dainty hand, stuffed lamb clutched in the other.

     She was precious, she was adorable, (she made me want to gag, blech!), and all the guys were drooling over her. Drooling! The rest of us were left seething in our fishnet stockings, as we threw daggers at her with our eyes. How dare she show up looking so sweet! Didn't she know she was supposed to slut it up like the rest of us? It's tradition, for crying out loud.

   Years later, I am still pondering the entire psychological puzzle. What was it about her that made all the men go crazy? Was it the temptation and/or compulsion to sully up the 'nice' girl? Or, did she bring out their alpha male 'I need to protect her' side? Or, are all men just kinky, deviant sex pigs? Looking back, I think it might have been all of the above.

    So ladies, if you're looking for a man, and happen to be heading out to a Halloween party, you might want to consider a more demure costume this year. Sure, you will feel about as sexy as a nun at a insurance convention as you stand there in your Little Red Riding Hood ensemble, but you won't be going home alone. I guarantee it.

     By the way, I'm dressing up as a naughty nurse this year, because unlike Bo Peep, I believe in tradition.

Goodreads |
The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance (anthology)

Published: August 29th 2013 by Ryan Field Press
If you’ve ever wondered what it might be like to be a straight woman thrust into the intimate, emotional relationship of two gay men, this book might answer a few of your secret questions. It’s a collection of very different fictional stories that mesh together and create fantasies that in some cases could actually happen in real life. 

When one gay man falls in love with his best girlfriend and her boyfriend, it becomes a heart-wrenching trilogy with three new adult stories by Bella Stanberry that cross social boundaries for which the characters will eventually pay a price. In Anna Black’s Fallen Angel, the straight female character finds out what it’s like to explore her most discreet fantasy. And in Baby Got Bach by Giselle Renarde the straight female character is invited to cross a line that leaves her terrified.

A Touch of Therapy by Morgan Honeyman delves into new age lessons about how to heal as the main character observes two gay men from a comfortable distance. Li Blaine’s Changing Curses is a more lyrical dream world which takes a mystical approach when the main character figures out a way to rid herself of a curse. The Facilitator by Tilly Hunter shows how a woman can find herself involved with her best gay friend and his boyfriend, with handcuffs and her grandmother’s wooden spoon. And in the sweet, tender tale of Lustful Wishes by R. Noir, the main character is a confused young man who has had both women and men in his life and he’s trying to figure out how to do the right thing. 

All these stories combined with The Courage to Jump by Oleander Plume, where an m/m erotic romance author gets a chance to meet and explore her gay characters in real life, create a world of dreams that challenge one of the least mentioned topics today: The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance.

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